ak da xley tipu diri ak sniri...ak memg bnci bile diri ak isolated!!! dan yg sedihnye dipinggirkan oleh kwan2 sniri. alasan yg diberi kononnye ak je yg rase cmtu..coz ak tgah down and what so ever. BUT, i can't fool myself anymore..(asenye bek tulis dalam english...coz tgah marah)
the story begins in the year 2010 in my 3rd sem. at first, i didn't realize this thing. at that happy hours and time, i juz follow d flow n i'm not even bothered when i saw the situations becoming soo obvious. maybe at that time, i was juz soo blinded by the happiness shown in public..
the reality was, WE never become one if it were to be said in that way. still, the gaps are shown so obviously when one of us is not there. A and B will be attached, while C will have to try get along with these two when D is not around. i maybe sound pathetic but the C is me actually. i tried to explain what i felt to one of them but sadly, she don't understand or don't wanna understand. she juz want us to be like this coz she said everything was juz fine for her..
i have a question:
aren't friends supposed to give motivations when one of them are sad or disappointed?
but what happened was i got scolded instead when i thought about this thing. she said, "we've been friends for like a year and this problem shouldn't occur. why are u making things complicated?". i felt i was hit by starstruck when she said that. OMG, don't i have the right to speak out my opinion? come on, i'm juz a normal human being with feelings okay. i want solutions..juz that.
at last,i decided....
i juz want to be myself..i dont want to be hypocrite, what i feel will show on my face. i dont care anymore, all this time i'm trying to be positive and make others happy...but WHAT ABOUT ME? whose gonna take care of my feelings?? no one will,except for my family and true friends....that's it!!!!
i'm so tired right now, sometimes i wish to go home....at home, it was more happier than here. everybody loves me. even i got scolded by my mum or dad, i still can withstand..i can still put a sincere smile on my face...;((
GOD, hOw i wIsH i cOulD gO baCk hOme nOw....!!!
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